{"title":"GOLF SICKO","description":"\u003cp\u003eWelcome to the GOLF SICKO COLLECTION - the full lineup of hats, shirts, and accessories for the ones who don’t just play golf… they live it.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis ain’t some basic golf merch drop. This is for the real ones. The Certified Golf Sickos who think about their next round while they’re still on the current one. The ones who bring good energy, a little chaos, and zero shame. We don’t judge your swing. We judge your aura. You show up with the right vibe? You’re family.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eTHE HATS\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eTrucker hats. Rope hats. Bucket hats. Dad hats.  \u003cbr\u003eAll of them built to actually be worn — on the course or off it. Breathable, comfortable, and tough enough to survive a hot round and whatever comes after. Some got the big smiling Don Panchito face riding shotgun. Some got that loud “GOLF SICKO” logo in full Pornhub-style lettering. All of them got that retro-meets-modern sicko energy. Wear ‘em while you’re grinding. Wear ‘em while you’re living.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eTHE SHIRTS\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eThese are lifestyle only, baby. Soft, broken-in tees that feel good the second you throw ‘em on. Big graphics of your boy Don Panchito, bold sicko slogans, and that unapologetic “nutting every day” attitude. Leave ‘em in the closet when you’re playing — we don’t need the dress code police having a meltdown. But the second you walk off 18 or roll out of bed on a Tuesday, these shirts let everybody know exactly what kind of golfer you are.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eTHE ACCESSORIES\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eTowels, headcovers, and whatever else we cook up to keep the sicko lifestyle going 24\/7. Same energy. Same good vibes. Same “I might be a little obsessed but at least I’m fun” attitude.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe whole collection is built around one simple truth:  \u003cbr\u003eIf you’re not thinking about golf right now, you’re doing it wrong.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWhether you’re rocking the full sicko uniform or just grabbing one piece that speaks to your soul, you’re repping something real. Good energy. Slightly unhinged. Zero judgment. Maximum fun.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis is the Golf Sicko Collection.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eFor the ones who are all the way in.\u003c\/p\u003e","products":[{"product_id":"jersey-crewneck-t-shirt-all-fits-certified-golf-sicko-lifestyle-polo-t-shirt","title":"CLASSIC GOLFER","description":"\u003cp\u003eÓrale carnal! Don Panchito here with the official description for this lifestyle t-shirt. Listen up — this one stays in the parking lot. Private clubs would lose their minds if you tried to wear it on the course, and that’s exactly why we made it.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eWe took the classic POLO logo, told the horse to go fuck itself, and replaced it with a cold black silhouette of a golfer mid-swing. On the back, we put a minimal “GOLF” lettering in bold plus a smooth “Certified Sicko” underneath. It’s the same energy as the original, just for the real degenerates who know when to keep it off the property.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eThis is your off-duty uniform. Throw it on after the round while you’re still talking shit about the lip-out on 17. Wear it to the 19th hole while you lie about your score. Rock it on range days when you’re not even playing — just there to nut and watch. Perfect for the drive home, the airport on the way to your next trip, the group chat, or just walking around looking like a problem.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eSoft jersey feel. Comfortable fit. Zero dress code violations because this shirt knows its place… and it ain’t inside the ropes.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eFor the ones who don’t just play golf. They live it.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eÓrale! That’s pure. Go put this on where they’ll actually let you, you beautiful sickos.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e• 100% ring-spun cotton\u003cbr\u003e• Fabric weight: 6.1 oz\/yd² (206.8 g\/m²)\u003cbr\u003e• Garment-dyed\u003cbr\u003e• Relaxed fit\u003cbr\u003e• 7\/8″ double-needle topstitched collar\u003cbr\u003e• Twill-taped neck and shoulders for extra durability\u003cbr\u003e• Double-needle armhole, sleeve, and bottom hems\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"SMILEY GOLF","offers":[{"title":"White \/ S","offer_id":52752548823321,"sku":"4418974_15124","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ M","offer_id":52752548856089,"sku":"4418974_15125","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ L","offer_id":52752548888857,"sku":"4418974_15126","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ XL","offer_id":52752548921625,"sku":"4418974_15127","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 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(Yo!)\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eListen up, you beautiful sickos...\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eThis ain’t just a t-shirt. This is a fucking uniform.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eLeft chest. Classic Cola script. But instead of selling you sugar water, it says Golf Sicko in that same iconic, dripping, 1950s cursive that makes old heads emotional. White shirt. Red letters. Zero subtlety. Just pure, unfiltered golf obsession sitting right over your heart like it belongs there.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eYou throw this bad boy on and the whole world knows exactly what you are. No more hiding it. No more pretending you’re “normal.” \u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eThis tee is not for the golf course. This is for real life. Wear it to brunch, to the bar, to the grocery store, to pick up your kids, to your in-laws' house — wherever the fuck you go when you’re not chasing a little white ball. Soft, broken-in cotton that feels like your favorite old towel after 18 holes. Relaxed fit, looks clean with jeans, shorts, or even under a light jacket when you’re pretending to be civilized.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eIf you're not thinking about golf right now, you’re doing it wrong!\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eComfortable enough to swing in, tough enough to survive cart path beers and aggressive high-fives. Fits true. Looks mean. Feels right.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eThis is for the real ones. The ones who see a golf course and hear church bells. The ones who’d rather be on the first tee than anywhere else on earth.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eSo go ahead. Put it on.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eWelcome to the club, brother!\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eNow get out there and nut on ‘em.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e• 100% ring-spun cotton\u003cbr\u003e• Fabric weight: 6.1 oz\/yd² (206.8 g\/m²)\u003cbr\u003e• Garment-dyed\u003cbr\u003e• Relaxed fit\u003cbr\u003e• 7\/8″ double-needle topstitched collar\u003cbr\u003e• Twill-taped neck and shoulders for extra durability\u003cbr\u003e• Double-needle armhole, sleeve, and bottom hems\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"SMILEY GOLF","offers":[{"title":"S","offer_id":52752576086297,"sku":"3330752_15124","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M","offer_id":52752576119065,"sku":"3330752_15125","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L","offer_id":52752576151833,"sku":"3330752_15126","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL","offer_id":52752576184601,"sku":"3330752_15127","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL","offer_id":52752576217369,"sku":"3330752_15128","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"3XL","offer_id":52752576250137,"sku":"3330752_16335","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"4XL","offer_id":52752576282905,"sku":"3330752_17508","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0722\/4829\/5705\/files\/Cola-White-Front.png?v=1783276443"},{"product_id":"bubble-free-sticker-golf-sicko","title":"Bubble-free sticker: GOLF SICKO","description":"\u003cp dir=\"auto\"\u003eThis ain’t no innocent little sticker. This is the \u003cstrong\u003eGolf Sicko\u003c\/strong\u003e logo in full Pornhub theme — that clean white “Golf” next to the bold orange box with “sicko” inside. Slap this bad boy anywhere and let the world know you’re not just into golf… you’re addicted.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"auto\"\u003ePrinted on thick, high-opacity adhesive vinyl that’s damn near impossible to see through. Perfect for covering up old stickers, bad paint jobs, or the evidence of your last terrible round. High-quality 95µ durable vinyl that actually sticks and stays stuck — whether you put it on your range bag, your cooler, your laptop, your truck, or that one water bottle you’ve had since 2019.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"auto\"\u003eBubble-free application so you don’t end up with a sticker that looks like it got a bad lie. Just clean the surface first (yeah, we know your shit’s probably filthy) and slap it on. It’ll survive sun, sweat, beer spills, and whatever else you throw at it.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"auto\"\u003eThis sticker is for the real degenerates. The ones who treat every round like premium content. The ones who wake up thinking about their next hole. The ones who want the world to know they’re down bad for the game.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"auto\"\u003eSlap it on. Own it. No shame in the muni game.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"auto\"\u003eCertified Golf Sicko® …nutting every day!\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"SMILEY GOLF","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":52770586132761,"sku":"8162576_10163","price":3.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0722\/4829\/5705\/files\/kiss-cut-stickers-white-3x3-default-6a48174dce56c.jpg?v=1783109459"},{"product_id":"trucker-hat-golf-sicko-electric","title":"GOLF SICKO (90s ELECTRIC)","description":"\u003cp dir=\"auto\"\u003eÓrale! (that’s old-school Mexican slang for “hell yeah, let’s go”) That’s pure. If you’re not thinking about golf right now, you’re doing it wrong.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"auto\"\u003eListen up, you beautiful degenerates. You want to wear your sickness loud and proud without looking like some try-hard who only golfs on the weekend? This right here is your new daily driver.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"auto\"\u003eWe straight-up jacked the iconic Fry’s Electronics logo — that bold, loud, in-your-face red that used to scream “we got every gadget you didn’t know you needed” — and turned it into the ultimate war cry for golf-obsessed lunatics. “GOLF SICKO” blazing across the front in that same electric red, lightning bolt energy and all, like your ball just got hit by a power surge of pure obsession.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"auto\"\u003eWear to your top-tier course or local muni, cabrón. Wear it to the gym while you’re chasing that snatch PR. Wear it grabbing tacos. Wear it running errands. Wear it tilted back at the bar telling stories about the round that got away. It’s your way of letting the world know your brain never actually left the fairway.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"auto\"\u003eBuilt like a proper sicko should be:\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul dir=\"auto\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eClassic six-panel trucker with mesh back so your head don’t cook in this Florida humidity\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e26% cotton \/ 74% polyester blend — soft where it touches your dome, tough where life tries to test you\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eStructured front with hard buckram panels so that GOLF SICKO logo stands up loud and proud\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eMid-profile fit with low-profile embroidery area (logo looks clean as hell)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e3.5″ crown (8.9 cm)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePermacurv® visor with matching undervisor — holds its shape like your best fade on a calm day\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePlastic adjustable closure fits heads 21⅝″ to 23⅝″ (54.9–60 cm)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"auto\"\u003eComfy? Classic? Certified Golf Sicko approved? You already know.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"auto\"\u003eEvery real golfer’s got a little Don Panchito rattling around inside them. This hat just lets that crazy bastard out.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"auto\"\u003eSo quit scrolling and throw it in the cart before I start judging your swing from here. 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This is your daily uniform for the real world — gym, bar, errands, airport, family dinner, wherever the hell you go when you’re not on the tee box.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eBuilt like it should be:\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Double-needle topstitched 7\/8″ collar  \u003cbr\u003e- Twill-taped neck and shoulders so it don’t stretch out after the first wash  \u003cbr\u003e- Double-needle armhole, sleeve, and bottom hems — this thing’s gonna outlive your last divorce  \u003cbr\u003e- Garment-dyed for that perfect lived-in color and hand feel  \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThick where it counts. Soft where it touches your skin. Loud where it matters.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis is the shirt you throw on when you want the world to know you don’t just play golf… you’re fucking obsessed. Every real sicko has a little of this crazy inside them. This tee just lets it breathe.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eSo stop scrolling like a coward and throw it in the cart. 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above the ultimate reimagined smiley — a yellow golf ball with X eyes, dimples everywhere, and a big shit-eating grin like it just watched you blade a wedge into the trees. It’s the Nevermind logo if Kurt had spent more time on the range instead of the couch.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eSame heavyweight champion tee as always: 100% ring-spun cotton, garment-dyed, 6.1 oz of thick, structured, breathable fabric that feels broken-in from day one but built like a tank. Relaxed unisex fit, double-needle topstitched collar, twill-taped neck and shoulders, double-needle armholes, sleeves, and bottom hems — this shirt refuses to quit.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAnd you already know the rule: **this is not course wear**. This is daily-life, walk-around, show-the-world-you’re-fucked-in-the-head clothing. Wear it to the gym, the bar, running errands, or just existing while your brain is stuck on the back nine. Let every normie know you don’t just play golf… you smell like teen spirit and a fresh bucket of range balls.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eYellow golf ball smiley. X eyes. Zero chill. All sickness.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eEvery real sicko’s got a little Don Panchito rattling around inside them. This shirt just turns the distortion all the way up.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eQuit being soft and throw it in the cart. Your closet’s been waiting for this kind of grunge.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e• 100% ring-spun cotton\u003cbr\u003e• Fabric weight: 6.1 oz\/yd² (206.8 g\/m²)\u003cbr\u003e• Garment-dyed\u003cbr\u003e• Relaxed fit\u003cbr\u003e• 7\/8″ double-needle topstitched collar\u003cbr\u003e• Twill-taped neck and shoulders for extra durability\u003cbr\u003e• Double-needle armhole, sleeve, and bottom hems\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong class=\"size-guide-title\"\u003eSize guide\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cdiv data-unit-system=\"imperial\" class=\"table-responsive dynamic\"\u003e\n\u003ctable cellpadding=\"5\"\u003e\n\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e \u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWIDTH (inches)\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eLENGTH (inches)\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSLEEVE CENTER BACK (inches)\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eS\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e18 ¼\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e26 ⅝\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e16 ¼\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\n\u003c\/table\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003cdiv data-unit-system=\"metric\" class=\"table-responsive dynamic\"\u003e\n\u003ctable cellpadding=\"5\"\u003e\n\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e \u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWIDTH (cm)\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eLENGTH (cm)\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSLEEVE CENTER BACK (cm)\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eS\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e46.4\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e67.6\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e41.3\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\n\u003c\/table\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"SMILEY GOLF","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":52773426594073,"sku":"4750953_15124","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0722\/4829\/5705\/files\/GRUNGE-SMILEY-GOLF-BALL.png?v=1783277500"},{"product_id":"retro-trucker-hat-nirvana-golf-sicko","title":"GRUNGE SMILEY GOLF BALL","description":"\u003cp dir=\"auto\"\u003eA classic retro trucker hat with nothing but the yellow golf ball smiley face embroidered on the front — X eyes, big shit-eating grin, dimples everywhere, and that little club-shaped curve in the smile like it’s already judging your swing. Pure Nirvana energy, zero text, just the face. Simple. Loud. Perfect.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"auto\"\u003eSame trusted trucker construction: structured front so the smiley pops, mesh back so your head stays cool, and that easy adjustable fit. Wear it tilted, backwards, or straight while you’re living life off the course. This ain’t range gear. This is daily uniform for the obsessed.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"auto\"\u003eYellow golf ball smiley. X eyes. Zero chill. All sickness.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"auto\"\u003eEvery real sicko’s got a little Don Panchito rattling around inside them. This hat just turns the distortion up and lets him breathe.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"auto\"\u003eQuit being soft and throw it in the cart. Your head’s been waiting for this kind of grunge.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"auto\"\u003e• 26% cotton, 74% polyester\u003cbr\u003e• Mid-profile cap with a low-profile embroidery area\u003cbr\u003e• Structured, six-panel cap\u003cbr\u003e• 3.5″ crown (8.9 cm)\u003cbr\u003e• Hard buckram front panels\u003cbr\u003e• Mesh back\u003cbr\u003e• Permacurv® visor, matching undervisor\u003cbr\u003e• Plastic adjustable closure\u003cbr\u003e• Head circumference: 21⅝″–23⅝″ (54.9 cm–60 cm)\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong class=\"size-guide-title\"\u003eSize guide\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"table-responsive dynamic\" data-unit-system=\"imperial\"\u003e\n\u003ctable cellpadding=\"5\"\u003e\n\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e \u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eA (inches)\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eB (inches)\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eC (inches)\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eD (inches)\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eOne size\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e21 ⅝-⅝\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e3 ⅞\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e2 ½\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e6 ¾\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\n\u003c\/table\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"table-responsive dynamic\" data-unit-system=\"metric\"\u003e\n\u003ctable cellpadding=\"5\"\u003e\n\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e \u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eA (cm)\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eB (cm)\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eC (cm)\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eD (cm)\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eOne size\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e55-1.6\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e10\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e6.5\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e17.2\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\n\u003c\/table\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"SMILEY GOLF","offers":[{"title":"Black","offer_id":52773475582233,"sku":"6774127_8747","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy","offer_id":52773475615001,"sku":"6774127_8751","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Heather Gray","offer_id":52773475647769,"sku":"6774127_20391","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Evergreen","offer_id":52773475680537,"sku":"6774127_20393","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Silver","offer_id":52773475713305,"sku":"6774127_20392","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White","offer_id":52773475746073,"sku":"6774127_8746","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0722\/4829\/5705\/files\/retro-trucker-hat-black-left-front-6a492b7da038e.jpg?v=1783180175"},{"product_id":"retro-trucker-hat-blackstone-x-tommy-fleetwood-golfsicko","title":"Golfsicko RECTANGLE","description":"\u003cp\u003eÓrale! You finance bros and golf degenerates, listen up.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis is the Retro Trucker Hat: GOLFSICKO — Blackstone edition, themed after Tommy Fleetwood’s lid but built for guys who swing deals harder than they swing drivers.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eFront and center we got that bold “GOLFSICKO” embroidery popping off the structured six-panel front like a hostile takeover of your wardrobe. Hard buckram keeps it structured (no weak hands here), mesh back for when the heat is on and you’re leveraged to the tits, Permacurv® visor, plastic adjustable closure, 26% cotton \/ 74% polyester — lightweight enough to carry your whole portfolio without breaking a sweat. Mid-profile 3.5\" crown, same classic retro trucker DNA.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis ain’t some basic retail hat. This is private equity on the private course — the kind of lid that screams “I acquired a 4.2 handicap and I’m here to merge with the back nine.” Perfect for finance guys who traded the Bloomberg terminal for the launch monitor and now carry more wedges than warrants. Wear it on the course while you’re birdie-ing your way to carried interest, or off the course while you’re closing deals at the 19th hole bar. \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eLeverage your look, boys. Compound those sicko vibes. Exit strong.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eGo acquire this bad boy before the next round of funding dries up, you beautiful bastards. Don’t make me come audit your swing.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e• 26% cotton, 74% polyester\u003cbr\u003e• Mid-profile cap with a low-profile embroidery area\u003cbr\u003e• Structured, six-panel cap\u003cbr\u003e• 3.5″ crown (8.9 cm)\u003cbr\u003e• Hard buckram front panels\u003cbr\u003e• Mesh back\u003cbr\u003e• Permacurv® visor, matching undervisor\u003cbr\u003e• Plastic adjustable closure\u003cbr\u003e• Head circumference: 21⅝″–23⅝″ (54.9 cm–60 cm)\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong class=\"size-guide-title\"\u003eSize guide\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"table-responsive dynamic\" data-unit-system=\"imperial\"\u003e\n\u003ctable cellpadding=\"5\"\u003e\n\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e \u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eA (inches)\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eB (inches)\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eC (inches)\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eD (inches)\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eOne size\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e21 ⅝-⅝\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e3 ⅞\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e2 ½\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e6 ¾\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\n\u003c\/table\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"table-responsive dynamic\" data-unit-system=\"metric\"\u003e\n\u003ctable cellpadding=\"5\"\u003e\n\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e \u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eA (cm)\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eB (cm)\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eC (cm)\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eD (cm)\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eOne size\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e55-1.6\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e10\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e6.5\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e17.2\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\n\u003c\/table\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"SMILEY GOLF","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":52774239306009,"sku":"9625870_8746","price":40.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0722\/4829\/5705\/files\/retro-trucker-hat-white-left-front-6a49de5b30d90.jpg?v=1783225961"},{"product_id":"retro-trucker-hat-all-black-blackstone-x-tommy-fleetwood-golfsicko","title":"Golfsicko RECTANGLE","description":"\u003cp\u003e¡Órale! You finance bros and golf degenerates, this one’s stealth mode.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis is the all-black Retro Trucker Hat: GOLFSICKO — Blackstone edition, themed after Tommy Fleetwood’s lid but built for guys who swing deals harder than they swing drivers.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe hat is pure blackout: full black body with that clean white “Golfsicko” embroidery inside a sharp white border box on the front. Structured six-panel front with hard buckram keeps it sharp like a leveraged buyout, mesh back for ventilation when the market (and the sun) is heating up, Permacurv® visor, plastic adjustable closure, 26% cotton \/ 74% polyester — lightweight enough to carry your whole portfolio without breaking a sweat. Mid-profile 3.5\" crown, classic retro trucker DNA.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis ain’t some basic retail hat. This is private equity on the private course — the kind of lid that screams “I acquired a 4.2 handicap and I’m here to merge with the back nine.” Perfect for finance guys who traded the Bloomberg terminal for the launch monitor and now carry more wedges than warrants. Wear it on the course while you’re birdie-ing your way to carried interest, or off the course while you’re closing deals at the 19th hole bar. \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eLeverage your look, boys. Compound those sicko vibes. Exit strong in full blackout.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIf you’re not thinking about golf right now, you’re doing it wrong.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eCertified Golf Sicko® …nutting every day!\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eGo acquire this bad boy before the next round of funding dries up, you beautiful bastards. Don’t make me come audit your swing.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e• 26% cotton, 74% polyester\u003cbr\u003e• Mid-profile cap with a low-profile embroidery area\u003cbr\u003e• Structured, six-panel cap\u003cbr\u003e• 3.5″ crown (8.9 cm)\u003cbr\u003e• Hard buckram front panels\u003cbr\u003e• Mesh back\u003cbr\u003e• Permacurv® visor, matching undervisor\u003cbr\u003e• Plastic adjustable closure\u003cbr\u003e• Head circumference: 21⅝″–23⅝″ (54.9 cm–60 cm)\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong class=\"size-guide-title\"\u003eSize guide\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"table-responsive dynamic\" data-unit-system=\"imperial\"\u003e\n\u003ctable cellpadding=\"5\"\u003e\n\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e \u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eA (inches)\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eB (inches)\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eC (inches)\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eD (inches)\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eOne size\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e21 ⅝-⅝\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e3 ⅞\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e2 ½\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e6 ¾\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\n\u003c\/table\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"table-responsive dynamic\" data-unit-system=\"metric\"\u003e\n\u003ctable cellpadding=\"5\"\u003e\n\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e \u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eA (cm)\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eB (cm)\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eC (cm)\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eD (cm)\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eOne size\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e55-1.6\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e10\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e6.5\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e17.2\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\n\u003c\/table\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"SMILEY GOLF","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":52774244745497,"sku":"3621234_8747","price":40.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0722\/4829\/5705\/files\/retro-trucker-hat-black-left-front-6a49e34acba31.jpg?v=1783227236"},{"product_id":"classic-rope-cap-blackstone-x-tommy-fleetwood-golfsicko","title":"Golfsicko RECTANGLE","description":"Blackstone just dropped a hole-in-one and we’re all cashing in.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nLightweight 100% polyester that feels like you’re wearing money, Stay-Dri sweatband so your dome stays dry even when the deal flow (and the Florida humidity) is trying to sweat you out. Structured five-panel mid-profile build, curved bill with that premium braided rope detailing for classic rope cap swagger, adjustable snapback that fits most heads, and sourced for maximum comfort.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nFront and center we got that clean GOLFSICKO branding — the official mashup of Blackstone private equity muscle and Tommy Fleetwood’s silky swing. It’s the hat for finance guys who traded the trading floor for the fairway and now carry more wedges than warrants. Perfect for birdie hunting, closing deals at the clubhouse, or just flexing that carried-interest lifestyle around town.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nWear it to the game, the marina, the range, or just out living that full-time Golfsicko existence. This rope cap compounds daily — the more you wear it, the more sicko you become.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nLeverage your look, boys. Exit strong.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nIf you’re not thinking about golf right now, you’re doing it wrong.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nCertified Golf Sicko® …nutting every day!\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nGo acquire this bad boy before the next round of funding dries up, you beautiful bastards. Don’t make me come audit your swing.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\n• 100% polyester\u003cbr\u003e\n• Stay-Dri sweatband\u003cbr\u003e\n• Structured, five-panel, mid-profile construction\u003cbr\u003e\n• Curved bill\u003cbr\u003e\n• Braided rope detailing on the bill\u003cbr\u003e\n• Adjustable snapback closure\u003cbr\u003e\n• One size fits most","brand":"SMILEY GOLF","offers":[{"title":"Light Blue\/White","offer_id":52774252019993,"sku":"5773272_22230","price":40.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Kelly\/White","offer_id":52774251987225,"sku":"5773272_46026","price":40.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0722\/4829\/5705\/files\/classic-rope-cap-light-blue-white-left-front-6a49e64b22fdf.jpg?v=1783227991"},{"product_id":"premium-cotton-tee-all-fits-gang-of-golf-sickos","title":"GANG OF GOLF SICKOS","description":"My Golf Sickos, this one’s for the whole crew.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nThis is the Premium Cotton Tee — Gang of Golf Sickos edition.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nFront and center you got the full gang: three absolute legends from another era, all mustaches, argyle, and chaotic good vibes, ready to take over the course. 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