{"title":"Hats","description":"\u003cp dir=\"auto\"\u003eWelcome to the \u003cstrong\u003eSmileyGolf Hat Collection\u003c\/strong\u003e — premium lifestyle hats for the certified sickos who are nutting every single day.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"auto\"\u003eThese aren’t your standard golf course hats. These are \u003cstrong\u003etrue lifestyle lids\u003c\/strong\u003e — built for everyday wear: grabbing coffee in Clearwater, hitting the gym, rolling through Scottsdale\/Phoenix, road-tripping to Bandon Dunes dreams, or just repping the obsession wherever life takes you.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"auto\"\u003eEvery hat features your boy Don Panchito in full effect, plus our signature \u003cstrong\u003eClassic 90s Parody Logos\u003c\/strong\u003e — we took those legendary throwback designs (Coca-Cola, Mr. Peanut, Bazooka Joe, Polo, Krispy Kreme and more) and gave them the full SmileyGolf sicko treatment.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3 dir=\"auto\"\u003eCollection Highlights:\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul dir=\"auto\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eClassic 90s Parody Hats\u003c\/strong\u003e — Iconic logos reimagined with golf chaos and Certified Golf Sicko® energy\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eSignature Don Panchito Hats\u003c\/strong\u003e — The dimple-faced walnut himself rocking the visor, big grin, and club\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eSlogan Hats\u003c\/strong\u003e — “Certified Golf Sicko® …nutting every day!” in bold, clean lettering\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eDestination \u0026amp; Lifestyle Drops\u003c\/strong\u003e — Scottsdale\/Phoenix neon vibes, Bandon Dunes, Streamsong, Cabot, and Tampa Bay specials\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"auto\"\u003eSoft, breathable fabrics with structured fit, adjustable straps, and that perfect everyday comfort. These hats move with your life — from post-round Mexican dinners with the guys to airport lounges heading to Portugal.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"auto\"\u003eLoud. Proud. Slightly unhinged. Just how we like it.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"auto\"\u003eShop the full SmileyGolf Lifestyle Hat Collection now and top off that golf sicko look wherever you go.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"auto\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCertified Golf Sicko® …nutting every day!\u003c\/strong\u003e 🏌️♂️🥜🧢\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"auto\"\u003e— Don Panchito \u003cbr\u003eSpiritual Leader of These Golf Nutz\u003c\/p\u003e","products":[{"product_id":"got-ghin-hat","title":"GOT GHIN? Hat","description":"\u003cp dir=\"auto\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eGOT GHIN? – Hard Flex. Zero Questions.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"auto\"\u003eWalk onto any course and let the hat do the talking. Clean white 5-panel low crown construction with the official USGA logo font in bold red \u0026amp; blue.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"auto\"\u003eThis isn’t cute golf merch. This is for players who actually track their handicap, post their scores, and play the game the right way. No sandbagging. No excuses. No mercy.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"auto\"\u003eUnquestionable golf integrity with maximum intimidation factor.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"auto\"\u003eFuck your competitors.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"SMILEY GOLF","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":52517921718553,"sku":null,"price":40.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0722\/4829\/5705\/files\/SMILEY-Golf_got-ghin_USGA.jpg?v=1781364119"},{"product_id":"certified-golf-sicko™-krispy-hat","title":"Certified Golf Sicko™ Krispy Hat","description":"\u003cdiv class=\"relative group flex flex-col justify-center w-full max-w-[var(--content-max-width)] pb-0.5 items-end\" id=\"response-d162882f-bd02-429d-8239-83a3c7265dff\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"flex flex-row flex-wrap gap-2 mb-2 justify-end\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"relative flex flex-row items-center text-sm transition ease-in-out group\/chip text-primary bg-chip border border-border-l1 rounded-xl h-10 p-0.5\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"relative flex-shrink-0 aspect-square overflow-hidden ms-0 me-0 rounded-[9px] [\u0026amp;\u0026gt;img]:h-full [\u0026amp;\u0026gt;img]:w-full\"\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eHot \u0026amp; fresh. Glazed to perfection. Certified.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eYou don’t just play golf — you’re a full-blown, hole-in-one chasing Golf Sicko. This crisp white cap features a premium embroidered patch done in that legendary donut-shop style, with \u003cstrong\u003eGolf Sicko™\u003c\/strong\u003e in bold red script and \u003cstrong\u003eCERTIFIED\u003c\/strong\u003e stamped across the green banner where the doughnuts usually go.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eFor the player who rolls up with fresh-out-the-oven energy every single round. Whether you’re grinding for birdies, living in the sweet spot, or just repping the lifestyle, this hat makes it clear you didn’t come for a half-dozen — you came for the whole box.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eDetails:\u003cbr\u003e- Premium structured cotton blend with breathable panels\u003cbr\u003e- High-quality multi-color embroidery\u003cbr\u003e- Classic fit with adjustable snapback closure\u003cbr\u003e- One size fits most certified sickos\u003cbr\u003e- Clean white colorway that stays looking fresh\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCertified Golf Sicko™\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eBecause plain rounds are for people who only order one donut.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"SMILEY GOLF","offers":[{"title":"White","offer_id":52539031257369,"sku":null,"price":40.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black","offer_id":52539031290137,"sku":null,"price":40.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0722\/4829\/5705\/files\/SMILEY-Golf_Certified-Golf-Sicko_Krispy_hat.jpg?v=1781364263"},{"product_id":"certified-golf-sicko™-bubble-gum-hat","title":"Certified Golf Sicko™ Bubble Gum Hat","description":"\u003cdiv\u003e\n\u003cdiv\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003cdiv\u003e\n\u003cdiv\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"auto\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCertified Golf Sicko Hat – Bazooka Bubble Gum Edition\u003c\/strong\u003e \u003cbr\u003e\u003cem\u003eWhite 5-Panel by Don Panchito\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"auto\"\u003e¡Órale, golf sickos! Don Panchito here with the cleanest, meanest white 5-panel to ever hit the first tee. We took that iconic Bazooka Bubble Gum pink pop and retro wrapper energy and slammed it onto a crisp white 5-panel so the graphics hit harder than a well-struck 3-wood.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"auto\"\u003eThis hat doesn’t just sit on your head — it certifies you. The bright white base makes that signature bubblegum pink explode, so when you step up and blow a massive drive, everyone already knows you came to pop birdies and chew through the course like it’s fresh out the wrapper. You’ll stick your putts with that same stubborn gum-on-the-shoe grip, and when the pressure’s on you won’t go flat — you’ll pop off instead.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"auto\"\u003eIt’s the original flavor of golf obsession, now in modern white 5-panel form. Lightweight, breathable, and built for the player who treats every round like it’s the only one that matters. Whether you’re grinding at the range until the lights shut off or rolling with the boys on a Saturday, this lid tells the whole story before you even pull a club.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"auto\"\u003eYou’re not just wearing another hat. You’re officially certified. A true Golf Sicko with that unmistakable Bazooka swagger.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"auto\"\u003eLimited drop. Once they’re gone, they’re gone — just like that perfect pink bubble right before it pops.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"auto\"\u003eThis is Don Panchito signing off. Now go blow some minds… and some big ones. ⛳🫧\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"SMILEY GOLF","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":52518865862937,"sku":null,"price":40.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0722\/4829\/5705\/files\/SMILEY-Golf_Certified-Golf-Sicko_Bubble-Gum_hat.jpg?v=1781364412"},{"product_id":"gi-joe-hat","title":"Certified Golf Sicko™ GI Hat","description":"\u003cp\u003e¡Órale, you certified sickos! \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eLook at this beauty that just rolled out of the These Golf Nutz armory — the C\u003cstrong\u003eERTIFIED GOLF SICKO GI-JOE Edition\u003c\/strong\u003e hat in full tactical white!\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eClean as a fresh sleeve of Pro V1s. Structured fit that sits right on your cabeza like it was born there. And that patch? ¡Madre mía! That’s not embroidery… that’s \u003cstrong\u003ea mission patch\u003c\/strong\u003e.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e“CERTIFIED” arched up top like the official briefing. Then that big, bold GOLF with the red-white-and-blue stripes and the star dead center — pure GI-JOE swagger but re-tooled for the only war that matters: the war on bogeys. \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e“SICKO” sitting underneath in black, letting every Cobra-loving double-bogey out there know exactly who they’re dealing with.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis ain’t no toy soldier lid, carnales. This is the real deal. Wear it and you instantly go from weekend hacker to \u003cstrong\u003eGolf Joe operative\u003c\/strong\u003e. “Yo Joe!” turns into “Yo Putt!” Knowing your distances? That’s still half the battle… but now you look like you actually read the field manual.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThrow this on with the Don Panchito mascot on the side and you’ve got the full task force uniform. White crown shining brighter than the 19th hole lights, ready to handle everything from 7 a.m. tee times to sunset scrambles.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIf you’re not thinking about golf right now while staring at this hat… you’re doing it wrong.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eCertified Golf Sicko® …nutting every day!\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWho’s strapping this bad boy on for their next mission? Drop a “Yo Fairway!” if this one’s going in your bag.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"SMILEY GOLF","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":52528378446105,"sku":null,"price":40.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0722\/4829\/5705\/files\/SMILEY-GOLF_Certified-Golf-Sicko_GI-Hat_22bee5d5-3a70-4225-bb0e-67ef568e8f26.jpg?v=1781372816"},{"product_id":"certified-golf-sicko™-cola-hat","title":"Certified Golf Sicko™ Cola Hat","description":"\u003cp dir=\"auto\"\u003eThis is the real thing. The Certified Golf Sicko™ Cola Hat in classic white with that bold red script embroidered across the front like it just walked out of a vintage soda ad and decided to play 18 instead. Same iconic red cursive, same unapologetic attitude, just with our name on it and zero interest in playing nice. It’s the secret formula for looking like you actually belong on the course instead of another weekend warrior who showed up looking like he got dressed in the parking lot.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"auto\"\u003eThrow this hat on and the whole vibe changes. That clean white crown and perfect mid-profile fit gives you that sharp, put-together look while the red “Golf Sicko™” script does all the talking. Open happiness with every round, taste the feeling of finally having a lid that matches your obsession, and remember it’s always Golf Sicko around here. Whether you’re grinding on the range, walking eighteen, or holding court at the 19th hole, this hat lets everyone know you didn’t come to make friends — you came to nut every goddamn day.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"auto\"\u003eCertified Golf Sicko® …nutting every day. If you’re not thinking about golf right now, what the fuck are you even doing?\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"SMILEY GOLF","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":52530516590873,"sku":null,"price":40.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0722\/4829\/5705\/files\/SMILEY-Golf_Certified-Golf-Sicko_Cola-hat.jpg?v=1781376493"},{"product_id":"certified-golf-sicko™-polo-hat","title":"Certified Golf Sicko™ Polo Hat","description":"\u003cp\u003e¡Órale, mis golf nutz! \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eLook at this clean, mean, Certified Golf Sicko polo hat sittin’ here like it owns the fuckin’ room. Crisp white, structured 6-panel fit, that perfect curved brim ready to shade your eyes while you talk shit to your playing partners. Dead center you got that sharp black silhouette of a golfer mid-swing — pure form, pure violence, pure “I’m about to stripe this bitch 280 down the middle.” Below it, bold “GOLF” and then “Certified Sicko” in that no-nonsense font that says “yeah, I live here.”\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis ain’t some flimsy trucker cap you find at a gas station, carnal. This is premium sicko armor. Breathable fabric so your head don’t cook in the Florida sun (or wherever your degenerate ass plays), subtle top button, clean stitching… the whole thing just feels expensive and unhinged at the same time. Exactly how we like it.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWear this hat and the whole course knows what’s up. You’re not just playing golf — you’re nutting every day. You’re the one who’s already thinking about your 4:30 tee time while you’re still on the 18th green. You’re the one who judges swings with love and zero filter. You’re one of us.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eCertified Golf Sicko® …nutting every day!\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIf you’re not thinking about golf right now, you’re doing it wrong. Go put this bad boy on your head and represent the lifestyle, mi gente. Don Panchito approves. \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eNow who’s teeing it up with me? ⛳️🥜\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"SMILEY GOLF","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":52534359097625,"sku":null,"price":40.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0722\/4829\/5705\/files\/SMILEY-Golf_Certified-Golf-Sicko_POLO-Hat.jpg?v=1781386466"},{"product_id":"certified-golf-sicko™-cup-hat","title":"Certified Golf Sicko™ Cup Hat","description":"\u003cp\u003e¡Órale carnales!\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis clean white 5-panel UV lite lid right here? This is the Golf Sicko® hat that lets you roll up to the club where all them rich pendejos dropped $400k just to turn over a new leaf… and still look like you belong.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eSubtle black embroidery, little trophy sitting on top like you’re about to claim the whole damn tree. The brim’s got that clean UV lite performance finish — sharp enough the other members squint and wonder if you’re one of the leaf-turners or the real deal.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThey’re out here flexing their new leaf status and obsessing over WHERE they play. \u003cstrong\u003eMuni or top-tier country club, don’t matter to me. I don’t give a fuck about the address on the sign. All that matters is HOW the game is played. Purity is the essence. The golf. That’s it. That’s the whole religion.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWear this hat and watch the double take happen in real time.  \u003cbr\u003e“Is he one of us?”  \u003cbr\u003e“No mames… he’s a certified Golf Sicko® who never turned over that leaf — he just kept nutting every day because the only thing that’s ever mattered is the fucking golf.”\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIf you’re not thinking about golf right now, you’re doing it wrong.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis hat knows the difference between turning over a new leaf and actually turning your game around.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eCertified Golf Sicko® …nutting every day!\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"SMILEY GOLF","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":52538671661337,"sku":null,"price":40.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0722\/4829\/5705\/files\/SMILEY-Golf_Golf-Sicko_Cup-Hat.jpg?v=1781396534"},{"product_id":"certified-golf-sicko®-married-to-the-game-hat","title":"Certified Golf Sicko® Married to the Game Hat","description":"\u003cp\u003e¡Órale, you beautiful, deranged golf sickos!\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eLook at this bad boy right here. This ain’t no basic lid — this is the official \u003cstrong\u003eCertified Golf Sicko®\u003c\/strong\u003e black hat, straight from the nut himself. Clean black crown, sharp as a fresh Mizuno iron, with that loud-ass neon green “GOLF SICKO” embroidery screaming across the front like your driver on a tight fairway. Right underneath sits the little rectangular “CERTIFIED” patch like a quiet flex that says “yeah, I’m official… and you’re not.”\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis hat was made for the real ones — the married cabrones with kids, mortgages, and a wife who still thinks “I’m running to the store” means you’ll be back in 20 minutes. Married with Children? Nah, mi’jo… you’re \u003cstrong\u003eMarried to the Game\u003c\/strong\u003e, out here raising little golf nutz while secretly checking your AoA in the rearview mirror on the way to soccer practice.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eSlip this on and the whole course knows exactly what time it is. You’re not “trying to get better.” You’re not “playing a quick nine.” You’re a Certified Golf Sicko — the kind of animal who’s thinking about his 4:30 tee time while he’s supposed to be helping with homework. The kind who’s been nutting every single day longer than most of these soft-ass weekend warriors been alive.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis hat don’t whisper. It announces. Black so it hides the sweat from those 98° Florida rounds, green so bright it makes your playing partners jealous, and that little “CERTIFIED” stamp so you never have to explain yourself again.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e¡Pura! That’s pure, carnal.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIf you’re not thinking about golf right now, you’re doing it wrong.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eGo get yours before your buddy cops the last one. And remember what Don Panchito always says…\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eCertified Golf Sicko® …nutting every day!\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"SMILEY GOLF","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":52539402715417,"sku":null,"price":40.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0722\/4829\/5705\/files\/SMILEY-Golf_Certified-Golf-Sicko_Married-with-Children_Black-Hat.jpg?v=1781398649"}],"url":"https:\/\/smileygolf.co\/collections\/hats.oembed","provider":"SMILEY GOLF","version":"1.0","type":"link"}